What are you thinking?

Why in the world would you want to stay home?  

You have a perfectly good job at a good school!

Do you really think you can AFFORD to quit working?

You can’t give them what they need at home!

You aren’t _________________ enough to do that! 

Do you remember what it is like to stay home ALL DAY LONG with your kids?

Yes… I do remember.  I remember that it was hard at times.  I remember that there were days that I wanted to run away and hide for a while.  I remember being relieved when I went back to a classroom and my kids went to school.

But, I also know there is a season for things, and the season has changed at our house.

For the last couple years, I have felt very convicted about my Biblical role as a wife and a mother.  I know that God has blessed us with this incredible little family, and I do not want to look back and realize that I did not do what I was supposed to do.

God has used my role as a pastor’s wife to challenge me to be a better example to the women that God has given me to serve.  I am supposed to be striving to do what God has given me to do.  How can I tell a women that she should be seeking God’s face for her place and not truly fulfill the job I have been given?

So why haven’t I been getting my job done?  Frankly, I have been too stinking busy!  I have felt like have been doing to many things, and not doing any of them well!  I have been too frazzled and worn out by the time I walk in my home, that I can’t even do the basic things that I should be able to do for my family.  I am shoving pizza or other takeout across the table… when we can FIND the table.  I don’t have time to do the simple things like play a game or bake  cookies or play in the leaves.  I am constantly busy.  Work. work. work.

My dear friends have often challenged me with the words “You HAVE to give something up Tancy!”  A few months ago, I started praying about this very topic.  What in the world could I give up?  I can’t quit being a wife and mom and attempting to run this house.  I can’t quit being a Pastor’s wife.  I have a job.  What else is there?  Really?  I even gave up BASKETBALL, and I love basketball.

When things kinda started to get …. different…. at school this summer, I started to seek God’s face about our school situation.  I didn’t know what I was going to do.  I didn’t know how I could take on more stress at school considering the fact that I was feeling like a failure already.

I continued to pray about what I should give up, and in God said, nearly audibly,

“Give up the job.” 

Give up the job?  Was He crazy?  How can I give up the job?  That is WHAT I do!  I am a teacher!  What would we do with the kids?  How would be survive without my HUGE salary (Insert sarcastic drip) ?  How can I not be a teacher?  When I asked for Him to show me what to give up, I never fathomed that it could be the JOB!!!

We continued to pray.  I for one, really wondered if I REALLY heard him right?  I couldn’t have really heard a REAL voice.  I couldn’t really be contemplating this insanity!  Giving up the job?!?

Well, I continued to discuss the changes at school and even put out a fleece.  I don’t know if we are supposed to put out fleeces or not, but I did.  The answer didn’t change.

I began to feel complete peace, and I dropped off my letter of resignation.  I ordered curriculum.  I was settled.

Then, the school offered me a different position.

So, we began to pray again.

I know that I serve a merciful God, because anyone else would get very frustrated with my ramblings.  Here I was second guessing the decision He had already made and given me complete peace about.

The voice was back.

“I answered this last week, Didn’t I?”

Who am I to question that?  The things that I had sought His face about for so long, answered.  I don’t want to get to the end of our child raising years and regret doing my real job because I was to busy doing everything else.  I only have a few precious years.  We have a TEENAGER.  The time will be gone in an instant.

I am sure there will be many days filled with frustration.  I am sure I will still want to run away and cry at times.  I am also sure that I won’t regret the investment made in the precious gifts God has given me.

And I am sure He will be faithful in those moments – frustrating or delightful.

 

 

Published by

Tancy Griffin

Tancy Griffin is a wife and mother of four wonderful children. Her husband Jeremiah Griffin is a church planter and pastor in Rockford, Illinois.

6 thoughts on “What are you thinking?”

  1. proud of you. You will never go wrong listening to the Voice. And yes, I’ve heard it out loud a couple of times recently myself. Don’t put it past God to shout when we are too busy to pay attention.

  2. I am in the background getting teary eyed and cheering you on. My heart has always rooted for mom’s to be available for their families. You are going to do great! You are a wonderful wife and mom!! Love ya.

  3. Needless to say, we’ve been upholding you in prayer through these amazing trials. Admit to holding our breath, too! Remember the end of your ROPE is NOT the end of your HOPE — tie a knot and hang on (to HIM!) LOVE-LOVE-LOVE y’all.

  4. I am crying with happiness for you. Thank you being such a good example, and for reminding me why I do what I do.

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