Why in the world would you want to stay home?
You have a perfectly good job at a good school!
Do you really think you can AFFORD to quit working?
You can’t give them what they need at home!
You aren’t _________________ enough to do that!
Do you remember what it is like to stay home ALL DAY LONG with your kids?
Yes… I do remember. I remember that it was hard at times. I remember that there were days that I wanted to run away and hide for a while. I remember being relieved when I went back to a classroom and my kids went to school.
But, I also know there is a season for things, and the season has changed at our house.
For the last couple years, I have felt very convicted about my Biblical role as a wife and a mother. I know that God has blessed us with this incredible little family, and I do not want to look back and realize that I did not do what I was supposed to do.
God has used my role as a pastor’s wife to challenge me to be a better example to the women that God has given me to serve. I am supposed to be striving to do what God has given me to do. How can I tell a women that she should be seeking God’s face for her place and not truly fulfill the job I have been given?
So why haven’t I been getting my job done? Frankly, I have been too stinking busy! I have felt like have been doing to many things, and not doing any of them well! I have been too frazzled and worn out by the time I walk in my home, that I can’t even do the basic things that I should be able to do for my family. I am shoving pizza or other takeout across the table… when we can FIND the table. I don’t have time to do the simple things like play a game or bake cookies or play in the leaves. I am constantly busy. Work. work. work.
My dear friends have often challenged me with the words “You HAVE to give something up Tancy!” A few months ago, I started praying about this very topic. What in the world could I give up? I can’t quit being a wife and mom and attempting to run this house. I can’t quit being a Pastor’s wife. I have a job. What else is there? Really? I even gave up BASKETBALL, and I love basketball.
When things kinda started to get …. different…. at school this summer, I started to seek God’s face about our school situation. I didn’t know what I was going to do. I didn’t know how I could take on more stress at school considering the fact that I was feeling like a failure already.
I continued to pray about what I should give up, and in God said, nearly audibly,
“Give up the job.”
Give up the job? Was He crazy? How can I give up the job? That is WHAT I do! I am a teacher! What would we do with the kids? How would be survive without my HUGE salary (Insert sarcastic drip) ? How can I not be a teacher? When I asked for Him to show me what to give up, I never fathomed that it could be the JOB!!!
We continued to pray. I for one, really wondered if I REALLY heard him right? I couldn’t have really heard a REAL voice. I couldn’t really be contemplating this insanity! Giving up the job?!?
Well, I continued to discuss the changes at school and even put out a fleece. I don’t know if we are supposed to put out fleeces or not, but I did. The answer didn’t change.
I began to feel complete peace, and I dropped off my letter of resignation. I ordered curriculum. I was settled.
Then, the school offered me a different position.
So, we began to pray again.
I know that I serve a merciful God, because anyone else would get very frustrated with my ramblings. Here I was second guessing the decision He had already made and given me complete peace about.
The voice was back.
“I answered this last week, Didn’t I?”
Who am I to question that? The things that I had sought His face about for so long, answered. I don’t want to get to the end of our child raising years and regret doing my real job because I was to busy doing everything else. I only have a few precious years. We have a TEENAGER. The time will be gone in an instant.
I am sure there will be many days filled with frustration. I am sure I will still want to run away and cry at times. I am also sure that I won’t regret the investment made in the precious gifts God has given me.
And I am sure He will be faithful in those moments – frustrating or delightful.