*disclaimer:  this post has to do with MANY, MANY examples that I have observed in recent YEARS.  This is directed at NO one person or persons.  It is  general observations about the church body as a whole INCLUDING ME! (not only my church family - friends are dealing with this too) This is a battle I have fought myself and I know I have not completely won. This post is not meant to offend, it is meant to provoke thought.    

Yeah, I know I have your attention now.

Could you even imagine?

Imagine a yearly event, when everyone aired their grievances with one another.  Scream. Yell.  Punch. Kick. Swing.  All out mayhem!  Get out those frustrations!!!!

REALLY! ?!    Is that what we want with our BROTHERS and SISTERS in CHRIST?

Is this the way we treat FAMILY?

Well then WHY do we have such anger and bitterness among us?

In the recent months, I have seen countless examples of discord among God’s people.

People who just can not get along.
People filled with jealousy.
People with personality conflicts.
People filled with anger.
People with grudges.

It seems to be running rampant among the body of Christ, and I am amazed at how many people do not see it as an issue.

“I mean, Goodness, I have not been out stealing or murdering anyone, so does it really matter than I don’t want to sit on that side of the church so I do not have to talk to that person?”

They figure their little grudge is not a big deal, I mean “Who will it really hurt?” They figure it will not matter if it is dealt with or not.   They figure “Why cause trouble stirring it up?” They figure it is not their problem, it is the OTHER person’s problem.

I try and keep my answer the same.

Biblical Conflict Resolution

Matthew 18:15-17

15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.

The Bible has given us the perfect plan for dealing with these problems, and I am not even going to pretend it is easy.  Although, I WILL  say  that if you need to “hide” behind something that God has pretty big shoulders for you to hide behind when dealing with something the RIGHT way.  You can rest in the fact that you are dealing with the problem the correct way.

Why do we want to hold these things in?  It hurts our brothers and our sisters.  They are our family!  We are to LOVE each other.  We are to esteem other higher than ourselves! (Phil. 2)  And yet, we skulk around harboring feeling as we delete them from our friends lists and move pews at church.

This is the way we expect unChristians to act, and yet we do the same.  We avoid, harbor, and begrudge all while lifting our hands in worship, opening our Bibles, and lifted our hands for prayer requests.

Can you imagine what power the Holy Spirit may unleash on God’s church if we would just do what we were supposed to and put away childish things and get over ourselves!?!

I can’t help but think of this verse.  

James 4:17

17 So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.

When are we going to get serious about what REALLY matters and not about who irritated us?

It is not always fun.  It is not always easy.  However, it is what we are supposed to do.  We are supposed to go to each other, and then put aside out difference so we can work together for the cause of Christ.

People are lost and dying in a corrupt world and we are busy worrying about whether or not someone looked at us funny or does like the way we did something.

We are COMMANDED to be about His work, and we are too busy licking our wounds and feeding our anger to do what we know is right.

God help us.

Let it begin with me.



Published by

Tancy Griffin

Tancy Griffin is a wife and mother of four wonderful children. Her husband Jeremiah Griffin is a church planter and pastor in Rockford, Illinois.


  1. Very thought provoking.

    I very much appreciate your openness.

    I wonder if I should copy and paste this to someone’s facebook page. But wait, she deleted me. You know… SHE could really use this. LOL 😉

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