Month: December 2012

I have been thinking about the resolutions that I made when facing  2012.  At  first thought I began the process of beating myself up for my complete and total failure.

I still sit here fat chick who did not read through the Bible this year.  My house is far from perfect, and my family did eat out way more that I wanted us to this year.

But, then I went back and read the LIST.

1. Be a better follower of Christ
2. Be a better wife and mother
3. Be a healthier and better me

January 1, 2012 – that was my list.  I then proceeded to elaborate on each item about how I thought I would accomplish each item.  That is me, always in control of how God is going to accomplish things in my life.

When I rethink the actual list, I realize that God has truly accomplished these things in my life.

I have not read through my Bible from start to finish this year, and it would be a great thing for me to do. However, I have spent more time with God and in my Bible this year that ever before.  He has truly shown me “great and mighty things.”  He has broken my heart for the lost.  He has changed me.

I have not cooked every meal from scratch and my house is not a perfectly organized show home. However, our home is a different place than it was a year ago.  God has changed so much in our lives.  I would have never thought at this time last year that I would not be working now.   He has made me available to be the mom and wife that I have needed to be.

I am still not a size eight, and I have not run a marathon this year.  However, overall, I am in a healthier state than last year.  I only weigh 5 pounds less than I did on January first of last year.   So, in the realm of numbers, I am a failure.  However, I am off all my blood pressure medication, and if I remember to take all my herbs and vitamins, I can keep my BP at the same numbers it is on medication.  Since quitting my BP medication, I have not had a single kidney infection!  I gave up caffeine in August, and I know that makes me a healthier me! I am not as edgy or jumpy.  People say I seem much calmer. So, I guess #3 is accomplished as well.

I love that God has accomplished the “However”s in ways that I would not have considered.  I love that His ways are so much better than my ways.

Looking at 2013, I think my list will be the same.  I am not going to elaborate on the ways that I intend to accomplish them.  I have learned my lesson. I know He can accomplish way more than I can ever imagine!

Kids are funny. No matter how many you have of them they are all opposites.  You see this connective tissue throughout them all, yet they are all so different.

I have always understood #1 as a geeky replica of his father.  I really like his dad, so it is pretty easy for me to understand him too.

#3 is the most like me, and so I have a pretty easy time understanding what makes her tick.

#4… well… He is just HIM.  Full of life and energy, all boy, and frankly he is just fun to watch.

Then, there is our oldest daughter.  Sweet #2.  I can honestly say that I did not even appreciate her and her gentle spirit until I had her my first grade class.

I didn’t realize how like-able she was!  Everyone liked her, and she was nice to everyone.  She was everyone’s friend, and always wanted to include everyone.  She is also a good student, which makes being her teacher even easier.  I got to watch her be the kind of student any teacher or mom would dream of.

BUT, still I don’t quite get her!  In some ways, I have felt like I have had a hard time connecting with her.

She is a free spirit – even more so than I was.  My parents often told me that I always marched to my own drum.  This little girl isn’t even marching to a drum at all!  I have said for years, that she will be our child that quits shaving her armpits and backpacks across Europe.

She can talk all the way to Chicago and back, and then announce that her “Brain is empty now.”

She can happily twirl and dance in any open space and not care who is looking.

She can repeat the same thing ten times in thirty minutes, and not remember.

She is so NOT physical!  She can’t even push a mower! (We tried a self propelled one and that one took off without her).

She cried when I took her to basketball camp!

She is our little mother hen.

She is artistic and flighty.

She is sweet and kind.

She is cunning and sneaky.

I sometimes just look at her and shake my head.  WHERE DID SHE COME FROM?

Lately, she had taken up baking. ( I am blaming Stefany U. for this!)  She has always liked helping in the kitchen, but since her HomeEc class with Stef, she practically lives in the kitchen.

I can ask her to make this or that, give her a recipe, (haul out the Kitchenaid because she can’t lift it), and she can do it all on her own.

We get to spend a lot of time together in the kitchen. I have been able to share that love of making food with her.  We get to work along in the kitchen and I get to hear her ramblings about this or that. I get to enjoy he constant toothy grin and continual questions.  We have found a way to connect.

Isn’t that what she needs?  Time with mom?

Even at this very minute she is pestering me to do another thing that we can do together.  WRAP PRESENTS!  She loves anything remotely creative!

So for now, even if I don’t understand the little girl who is doing curtsies and playing with her hair in the reflection of her dad’s giant broken TV I can spend time figuring out what makes her HER.

 

 

I fall into it so easily.  I judge.  The cover tells me everything I need to know about a person.

Today, we were blessed by ringing bells for the Salvation Army.  I am continually amazed at the people who give and shocked at the people who look angry we are wishing them a “Merry Christmas.”

It is so easy to let you mind go as the people walk by.

Those people will give.

Those people will smile.

Those people will hurry by with their head down like you can not see them, since they can not see you.

I found myself judging the prospects, and I looked at a young man.  He was pierced and tattooed. He had gauges in  ears.  A “punk” with ill-fitting skinny jeans.

“He won’t even look our way.” I said to myself, and went back to the bell ringing and song singing.

Ten minutes later the “punk” came by on his way out.  He nervously walked up to me while fidgeting through his bag He pulled out a Hershey candy cane full of Hershey kisses and said “This is for your kids. Merry Christmas.”

I wanted to cry.  How dare I?  I don’t want to be judged by my pudgy- middle-age-house-wife look, and yet, I do the same.

I am so thankful that God is merciful to me, and allows me to see just why I am not in control.