Month: August 2012

I spent my whole life baffled by the whole concept that Sunday was to be the day of rest. We would hear this in the list of do’s and don’ts, but it was rarely observed.  If you are a GOOD christian, you are fulfilling the LONG list of things a good christian whould be doing, which doesn’t give much time for rest.

When I became an adult, and my husband and I were quite involved in nearly every church we were in, I usually braced myself for Sunday.  Sunday usually consisted of getting up early and attempting to make it to church on time with kids in tow.  Depending on the current Pot Luck schedule, I would have to get up earlier to make whatever it was that I was to make for whatever it was that we had planned.  On days without potlucks, it might be a meal for whatever family was coming over after church.

If we made it to church in enough time to get everyone to where they belonged, practice whatever music we were scheduled to participate in, and actually sit in Sunday School, we would breathe a quick sigh of relief.  Sometimes we would teach Sunday school, Children’s church, Youth group, or something else during the services.

Home.

Lunch.

Busy, busy, busy.

Depending on our current church, we might have to be back as early as 4:00 for choir, discipleship training, special music practice, children’s choir, etc.  Then service might be followed by a youth group activity or family fellowship.

We would return home ready to collapse, but goodness, we had our “DAY OF REST.”

It seemed that no matter where our location the situation was the same, hectic schedule and exhausted people.

A few years ago when God gave us Living Stones as a ministry, Sundays were a little different.  At first, services were all held in our home, so the preparation for Sundays were FAR from peaceful and restful.  Once service was held and the house cleared  we were able to rest.  It was a new concept for me.  Rest?  On a Sunday?  Shouldn’t we be out doing SOMETHING?

We have to be DOING something!

A year later our services moved from our home and to Saturday evenings because we meet in a building that is a church. They need it on Sundays for obvious reasons.  I began to see Sunday as my day of rest.

At first, I just didn’t even know what to do with myself.  I felt like it couldn’t be right to not hit the ground running, and not stop until I collapsed sometime during the evening.  Then, I began to rest.

Now, I admit, many times I see Sunday as a day to accomplish a lot.  Yes, it is at times. But, I can’t tell you how wonderful a day to actually rest is!

We have had additional Sunday services for a few months, but I have tried to reserve time for REST.

What a concept.  REST!

Yesterday, we had no where to be and no schedule to keep. At first, I was planning on all the things that I could accomplish.  As the list was running frantically through my head, the kids started bounding into our room, one by one.  As our bed filled, and the cuddles wore on, I was reminded what a gift the day was.

We “wasted” our day together. We ate a big breakfast. We laid in bed and watched TV together (I took a nap in the midst of the chaos too).  JP mowed a lawn (which might have been the only tangible “work” that was accomplished), and we went to a movie.  We came home, and we did a little more of the same.

Last night, as we were sitting around watching the new “Call of the Wildman” (Don’t ask me why)  I had a contended little person snuggling with me, and she said, “This was the best day.”

I love to waste days together.

I don’t know how many people have said to me lately that I seem so calm or “not frazzled” or relieved.

I guess I don’t have to wonder why.

 

Why in the world would you want to stay home?  

You have a perfectly good job at a good school!

Do you really think you can AFFORD to quit working?

You can’t give them what they need at home!

You aren’t _________________ enough to do that! 

Do you remember what it is like to stay home ALL DAY LONG with your kids?

Yes… I do remember.  I remember that it was hard at times.  I remember that there were days that I wanted to run away and hide for a while.  I remember being relieved when I went back to a classroom and my kids went to school.

But, I also know there is a season for things, and the season has changed at our house.

For the last couple years, I have felt very convicted about my Biblical role as a wife and a mother.  I know that God has blessed us with this incredible little family, and I do not want to look back and realize that I did not do what I was supposed to do.

God has used my role as a pastor’s wife to challenge me to be a better example to the women that God has given me to serve.  I am supposed to be striving to do what God has given me to do.  How can I tell a women that she should be seeking God’s face for her place and not truly fulfill the job I have been given?

So why haven’t I been getting my job done?  Frankly, I have been too stinking busy!  I have felt like have been doing to many things, and not doing any of them well!  I have been too frazzled and worn out by the time I walk in my home, that I can’t even do the basic things that I should be able to do for my family.  I am shoving pizza or other takeout across the table… when we can FIND the table.  I don’t have time to do the simple things like play a game or bake  cookies or play in the leaves.  I am constantly busy.  Work. work. work.

My dear friends have often challenged me with the words “You HAVE to give something up Tancy!”  A few months ago, I started praying about this very topic.  What in the world could I give up?  I can’t quit being a wife and mom and attempting to run this house.  I can’t quit being a Pastor’s wife.  I have a job.  What else is there?  Really?  I even gave up BASKETBALL, and I love basketball.

When things kinda started to get …. different…. at school this summer, I started to seek God’s face about our school situation.  I didn’t know what I was going to do.  I didn’t know how I could take on more stress at school considering the fact that I was feeling like a failure already.

I continued to pray about what I should give up, and in God said, nearly audibly,

“Give up the job.” 

Give up the job?  Was He crazy?  How can I give up the job?  That is WHAT I do!  I am a teacher!  What would we do with the kids?  How would be survive without my HUGE salary (Insert sarcastic drip) ?  How can I not be a teacher?  When I asked for Him to show me what to give up, I never fathomed that it could be the JOB!!!

We continued to pray.  I for one, really wondered if I REALLY heard him right?  I couldn’t have really heard a REAL voice.  I couldn’t really be contemplating this insanity!  Giving up the job?!?

Well, I continued to discuss the changes at school and even put out a fleece.  I don’t know if we are supposed to put out fleeces or not, but I did.  The answer didn’t change.

I began to feel complete peace, and I dropped off my letter of resignation.  I ordered curriculum.  I was settled.

Then, the school offered me a different position.

So, we began to pray again.

I know that I serve a merciful God, because anyone else would get very frustrated with my ramblings.  Here I was second guessing the decision He had already made and given me complete peace about.

The voice was back.

“I answered this last week, Didn’t I?”

Who am I to question that?  The things that I had sought His face about for so long, answered.  I don’t want to get to the end of our child raising years and regret doing my real job because I was to busy doing everything else.  I only have a few precious years.  We have a TEENAGER.  The time will be gone in an instant.

I am sure there will be many days filled with frustration.  I am sure I will still want to run away and cry at times.  I am also sure that I won’t regret the investment made in the precious gifts God has given me.

And I am sure He will be faithful in those moments – frustrating or delightful.

 

 

If you have followed any of my facebook posts of recent (although not often) blog posts you have known that we have had a lot going on in our lives.  We have been… well… it has been hectic.

I always say I do better when life is a tad crazy and I don’t deal well with boredom, but this has been beyond what I consider a sufficient level of craziness.  We have had major decisions to make and significant events taking place.

Church has been a large source of this busyness.  We have been through big stuff at Living Stones North that we aren’t even sure how it is going to culminate even now.  At Living Stones Rockford, we had the privilege of hosting a missions team from Missouri that helped us put on two VBSs in one week, sandwich delivery, and a water bottle project.   We have also had some threats to the church and our family, and that is still hovering over our heads.

The other issue that I have asked for prayer is major family decision that we needed to make, and we finally put that in concrete.  We have decided that I would resign my teaching position, and we would return to the life of a homeschooling family. Many factors influenced that decision, and I do not want to drag them out here. God used many things to bring us into His will.    The one thing that I want to say repeatedly, is that God has shown Himself in an amazing way to us through this summer.

This summer has had its share of turmoil and stress, but God has been faithful each moment.

God has been good every moment.

God has given us continued peace, protection,  and strength.

Besides the fact that this has been a hectic, stress filled summer (We have had some fun too!  We got to go on TWO trips), this has been one of the most incredible summers that I have ever experienced.  I have seen God work mightily in our lives, and nothing can dampen that!

I can’t wait to see what He has in store for us next.