Tancy Talks

It is funny how a little “vacation” can liven a girl up. We were literally only gone 24 hours, but it was 24 hours of relaxation. It was 24 hours of not really worrying about too much of importance. We played in some sand, took a boat ride, had a bon fire, hung out at the pool, and went to a pig roast. It was nice to just have a break.

I don’t get breaks too often. Sure, I hang out at Magic Waters or at my mom’s pool, but the job usually goes with me 🙂 This time, they were all there too, but everyone was in the relaxing kinda mood.

I feel ready to tackle things again (even if it is temporary), and I feel like I can face the to do list that is waiting for me on the wall. I feel like I am ready to go for the tomatoes and corn that need to be tackled int he next two weeks. I am afraid no more 🙂

However, I may just need a nap first.

I am really tired tonight, so I am going to let the photos do the talking.  We had a good (although extremely hot) day at the zoo.  It is nice to have my niece around.  We don’t see her very often, and we like to spend time together.  It is amazing to think her being 14 already!!!!

 

Ministry is tough work.  We aren’t doing anything that extraordinary or that special.  We are just trying to love people.  We are just trying to help.  We have helped the people God has brought us.

Today I struggle yet again with the ministry.  I love control, and darnit, things are beyond my control!  I can’t control how many people that God leads into our doors at church.  I can’t control people’s thankfulness or lack thereof.  I can’t control people’s behavior.  I can’t control this ministry.

I get so frustrated when we help and help and then watch the same behaviors creep up.  They fall prey once again to the addictions.  They fall prey to the devil and his devices. I watch people we invest in give it all up yet again.

Yet, it isn’t our ministry.  It is HIS.  It isn’t our time that we are investing.  It is HIS.  Really this is no different than what I was blogging about yesterday.  Sure, yesterday was about money that wasn’t mine to begin with, but today it is time that isn’t mine either.

Aren’t we supposed to just GO?  We go without promise of a favorable result. We do without promise of an expected outcome.  We give without caring about a person’s thankfulness.  We are just to give.

Give.

Give my time.

Give my resources.

Give my heart.

Give my desires.

Give my need to control.

My ways are not His ways, and His plan is so much bigger than mine.

and the exciting thing…  I get to be here to watch!

 

What is the cost of ministry?

Lately I have often faced this question.  I don’t know if we are supposed to count the costs of our ministries, and I wonder at what point do we consider stewardship principles.

Tonight, I deal with another financial loss.  JP just called to inform me that our brand new mower will not work.  He was going to do our little side job that we have done over the years for a little extra cash.  It isn’t a big job, but it usually gives us a small lump sum towards the end of summer to purchase school supplies or clothes, pay for a little fun, or some other need as it arises.  He wasn’t able to mow because our mower is broke.

Our mower is broke because someone else was helping us mow the lawn (and helping means that we were letting him work off some money we “loaned” him) and hit the metal culvert.  Jp heard the noise, but was assured that it was just fine.   He put on the blade, and it was going to be a-okay.  Now, we can’t mow our lawn.

In Jp’s rant, he mentioned the many other monetary losses that we have experienced:  A broken patio table, a stolen this or that, a borrowed this or that that has never returned…  I, too, am disheartened at the loss of a brand new mower.

The Pollyanna in me has decided that it will probably be a temporary set back, and the mower will be able to be fixed by someone less emotionally attached and more mechanically inclined that my dear husband.  It is going to be fine!…  right?

I can dwell on the losses.  I can dwell on the time that we have poured into people that have turned and pushed us away. I could dwell on the hurtful words or the loss of friendship.  I can dwell on all those things or time that have been lost.

Shame on me!

It is just stuff!  Stuff given me by God!  Stuff bought with the money that God has given me!  The time that we have “wasted” is the time that God has given me!

It just doesn’t feel like a loss at all when I think about it not being mine in the first place!  What a relief!

Thank you Lord for all the things that you let me use.  You provide all my needs.

I recently became “Friends” with an old friend.  In fact, this old friend was someone I “went with” when we were kids.  You know the days of “going together.”  We were young and we “went” with each other.  We didn’t really go anywhere except one time we went to Guisseppi’s.  We all know how much I love that place, so the date is memorable.  The days of young dumb “love.”

I explored his pictures to see what his life was like.  Sure, he is still good looking; He looks fit and free.  He seems to have a good job, and has made a decent life for himself.

At first, my thoughts turned to the what if’s and wonder why’s until I really looked at the pictures for real.  Half of pictures had to do with beer.  The other half had to do with weight lifting, cars, motorcycles, and parties.  His son is in many of them, and it seems he was born when we were quite young considering that I have a 12 year old who was born when I was only 22.  His son looks considerably older.  Scrolling through the pictures I see pictures of him flipping off the camera, and even a few of his son following suit.

How much greater is God’s plans that ours?  Sure, I was heartbroken as a young kid when the relationship fizzled and died.  Certainly, I was forced to spend time scratching out our initials that I had emblazoned my canvas binder with.

What about the other “relationships” that ended in heartache?

Instead I sit as a 34 year old woman who probably seems ancient to my old friend.  I am married and have four kids.  I teach –  AT A CHRISTIAN SCHOOL no less.  I am a pastor’s wife.  I garden.  I can even crochet if I have time.  I enjoy pulling weeds and playing in dirt, and coaching my kid’s sports teams.  I take my kids to sewing lessons.  I am OLD, Man!!!

Yet, God had an amazing plan for my life.  I am married to a fantastic man who loves his Lord, his wife, and his kids.  Neither of us are ever going to models, but we are happy. Sure, we don’t have that much money, but it seems we always find enough.  We aren’t jet-setters, but we are never bored.  We have the four most amazing kids known to man, and we get to be their parents!  I have a job I love.  I have a home I can tinker around and a huge yard that I would hate to ever give up.  We have amazing family and friends.  I am so Blessed.

No matter what heartache besets me, I know that His plan is so much greater than anything I can dream up in my little mind and heart.