When I came home this evening to my toppled greenhouse, my heart immediately sank. At this point of the season, my dreams of wheelbarrows of veggies and rows of jars are all wrapped up in those little plastic cups inside that plastic greenhouse. I wanted to cry.
We immediately went to work in attempt to save whatever we could. The plants that could be righted may not survive, but I will try. As I was silently fretting, #3 was not-so-silently fretting.
“What are we going to do for food?”
“What about the marigolds you plant around the garden? You had 72 in just this ONE tray! The bunnies are going to eat everything!”
“We are going to have to eat tomatoes from the store! Can we afford tomatoes from the store? They don’t taste the same.”
“How can we make salsa? or spaghetti sauce? or….
“These were ORGANIC!”
She went on and on…
I finally grew weary of her verbal expression of my own thoughts and told her to hush, but every few minutes her lamentations would break free from her lips.
Of our children, she is the most like me, and I sometimes sit in shock at her reaction to things. It is like looking in a fun house mirror. Same person, different body. Tonight, she was voicing all the things I was thinking.
I started to tell her the Biblical classics like, “Be anxious for nothing” or the Bible says that worry is a sin,but I could not quite bring myself to spout the hypocrisy. At least she was not hiding her worry! How could I hide my worry, and give her verses on why her’s was wrong?
I know that in the grand scheme of things my green house debacle is truly not that big of a crisis. I am not fighting cancer, reeling from the death of a loved one, or losing my house. I am blessed beyond words. It still makes me sad. I do mourn the loss of my tiny little white cups of gardening dreams. I also know that I can not sit and worry about it.
As our daughter was annoying me with her obsession over the demise of the plants, I could not help but think about how much I much frustrate my Father. I know in my heart that the plant thing will work out. It is a bump in the road. My Father knows EVERYTHING is going to work out. He has is all planned out. And yet, there is Tancy, wandering around worrying about it all – obsessing over anything that I think is out of my control.
So often I can picture Him just shaking His head at my folly. I wonder if God sighs? If He does, I am sure I cause Him to do it often. I am so thankful that His mercy is new every morning. That concept has been on my mind lately. How grateful I am for that. His mercies are never ending! Great is Thy faithfulness!
He has mercy on me in my lack of faith and my constant worry, and He will have mercy on me tomorrow when I mess up again.
I am blessed.